I hated kindergarten and other misconceptions of 2015-2016

I really can't believe it's been a year.  Looking back on the idea of this blog, I can tell you with full confidence that it was a dumb idea. Who knew that I wouldn't have time for it? (Everybody.) That I'd fall asleep every night around 7? (everybody.) that I'd cry myself to sleep and feel like quitting most days? (That's right, everybody.)

That's not to say that I didn't have one of the most transformative years of my entire life, because of course I did... but man was it hard. 

So here's something that I'm sure will shock you--teaching kindergarten is hard. Not like "oh man, this calculus formula doesn't make sense" hard, or even "wow, this 50th mile is a doozy" hard, but like "holy hamburgers, I need to herd 24 kittens into an area full of mice, milk, and boxes" hard. Seriously.  This has come to be quite the cliche, but teaching kindergarten is a lot like herding cats.  You get one in line and .5 seconds later, there are 20 out of line. And that's just procedures, y'all.  Don't get me started on teaching them actual content.  I swear, I probably said "I can't tell you how to spell it, stretch it out" around 5000 times, "well what number comes after [X]" around 7600, and "come on, it's a sight word" around 20000. It would surprise you how often you repeat yourself when talking to five year olds-- but then again, maybe it wouldn't.  

I was also extremely shocked by the behavior of five year olds.  Seriously, I was.  I guess I went into this year with rose colored glasses. My dream year went like this "wow, friends, you are such great listeners! I love how you follow directions and apply what I'm teaching you right away! You're angels! Saints!"

Newsflash... It did not go like that.  In fact, probably the exact opposite.  

There's a moment during your first year of teaching where you look around and think, "I learned absolutely nothing in college to prepare me for this madness,  I am the worst teacher in the world, I'm going to quit. Right now." If you're like me, that moment happened five minutes into the first day. If we've spoken at all in the last year, you will have heard me say I had a tough class. I had some friends who didn't exactly know that you were supposed to keep your hands to yourself, and other friends who used words to cut you deep. Hence the crying (both me and students). And while I was dealing with these super friends, I also had the normal kindergarten occurrences:

-objects in noses (fingers, beads, you name it)

-bathroom accidents

-demanding clothes stay on (why they want to take them off at school is anybody's guess)

-eating things you shouldn't

-playing games you shouldn't

-saying things you shouldn't

-tears

-tears

-more tears  

-spills

-messes

-did I mention tears yet?

It was at that point I decided that I sucked as a human being, not just a teacher. If I couldn't handle these things, what was I doing here?

Cue student who radically changed my world. 

I will be honest and say that the content was the one thing I fell confident in, if you could call it confidence. I'd say I was "confident" in the sense that it was the one thing I was doing right. And that's a good thing, right? That's what they're here for....right? So when a student of mine massively jumped reading levels, I was kind of floored. By kind of, I mean really. Somebody was getting it! But, of course it couldn't have been me. It was the exposure to reading and writing. It was because the parents were reading with them at home. It wasn't me, it couldn't be. I was a failure. My reaction to this student was along the lines of "wow!! You've learned so much!!" To which she responded, "well yeah, Ms. Briggum, I've been listening to you when you teach us."

Umm... What? 

I'd be lying if I said that moment was anything short of radically transformative. That moment is when I fell in love with what I do. 

So of course I still had the kiddos who made bad choices, and I still had the typical "what is even happening" kindergarten moments, but at least what I was saying was resonating with them. I was, in some small way, making a difference. And I'll tell you something--that has the power to change the way you view kindergarten.

As I close, I'd like to end with the big{ger} shocker: I think I loved kindergarten.  Since school has been out, I've been able to reflect on the year and come to the conclusion that yeah, it was hard, but when is anything worth something not hard? On Saturday, I got to hang out with one of my students and have ice cream. I kid you not, I was telling people about it every day leading up to Saturday. I was so dang excited to see her again. And now I can't wait to start the school year and begin relationships with my new babies. I literally cannot wait. 

So bring it on 2016-2017, I'm ready for ya.