*this particular blog post was written as per request of one of my wonderful colleagues*
**Warning: this post contains a lot of emotions.**
Holy hotdogs. Today I experienced something that every teacher has been through: the numbers game. Dun dun duuuuun.... And while I'm going to explain, I think this picture describes the emotions that come with said game pretty darn well:
Before I continue, I need to preface this blog with a statement: I work at a fantastic school. I have no idea how I managed to get a job with such amazing people, but I can only thank God. My team has welcomed me with open arms and I have never felt like out of place. The only way to fully describe the community at my school is with one word-- family. Everyone at the school has made it their goal (it seems) to make me feel like I belong. They smile, they ask questions, and they seem to genuinely care. I could really go on and on, but I'll just say one more thing-- I am truly blessed by this school and these educators.
On to the tough part.
At approximately 1:30 pm, I was sitting in a training about kindergarten math and science, and just so happened to look down at my phone. Waiting for me was a text from my principal. While this would be a good thing at any other time, my mind immediately went to the fact that my class list was at 11 this morning. Eleven. So when my principal said that he needed to meet with kindergarten ASAP and would conference call us in if we couldn't make it, this huge cloud of dread began to blossom and I thought the worst: they're going to move me.
Long story short, it turned out that first grade had way too many students, and kinder had too few. Registration was over and it was time to start thinking about their next steps. They had a few options, and one included moving me to first grade. I am not going to lie, big, fat, ugly, tears started pouring down my face. Thank goodness I wasn't making sobbing noises!
Now, don't get me wrong-- I love first grade. I student taught first grade. I interviewed for first grade. I could teach first grade. But that wasn't the point. The point was that I had built this amazing community with my team that I didn't want to let go of. Not only that, but my classroom was fully decorated and I'm graduating from Baylor this Saturday so I didn't have time to redo everything. And no, I did not blame administration. In fact, I sincerely appreciate their honesty and frankness with the situation. They had the kids in mind, which is something I truly value when it comes to a school. But was I hurt? Absolutely. Was I freaking out? Definitely. Was it going to be okay? I really didn't know. So I did what any logical person should do: I cried and then got to work preparing my heart for first grade.
Let me tell you this: had I been moved to first grade, I would have been okay. In fact, I probably would have been great. First grade has got some amazing people on their team. I went to their area to meet the other teachers and start over with the whole community thing, and realized that they truly are f a n t a s t i c people. Not that I doubted it for a second, I just hadn't experienced it firsthand yet.
So, cat out of the bag, I ended up getting to stay in kindergarten. A wonderful teacher on our team volunteered to move up to first grade and I am truly grateful for her selflessness, and truly ashamed of my lack of. I wish her all the best and I know that she will love first grade because it is awesome. And, I learned a valuable lesson today: God works through everything. I am truly truly truly lucky to work at my school, no matter the grade. No matter where I would have ended up, I know that I would have been supported and encouraged the whole way through. That is something that I couldn't have even imaged when I began my job search in May.
God has a plan, y'all. And for a minute, I lost sight of that. I hopefully won't again (but I will).
-A
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